I have a regular penis. Well, not regular – it’s about 15cm long when limp and more than 30cm erect, and a little more than 6cm across. I call it Honest Johnson. But it is basically a regular penis. Underneath it is where things get complicated. The genetic engineers at the company gave me a few new muscles, a few new sphincters, and a second, more elastic penis. Most of the time, I keep those sphincters shut with no more effort or thought than you use to keep your asshole closed, and even during sex it is nothing at all to keep Tricky Dick hidden away. The enhanced elasticity lets it compact really small when not in use. But if I want to, and if Honest Johnson isn’t already too erect (it gets complicated, trust me), a barely visible “knot” in my scrotum opens up and Tricky Dick joins the party. The only real hitch is that I only have so much blood, so when both of the boys are in play they’re only about 24cm long and 5cm thick. But they look and function more or less. ’ It was the old tune ‘My Heart Belongs To Daddy’ by Cole Porter. The faces of the strangers seated around the bar were surprised to hear the tune, but began to smile when it seemed obvious that she was singing it to me and I wasn’t exactly her father. Her voice was breathy and soft and sexy, almost like Julie London in her prime. I leaned back on my bar chair barely able to control myself as she sang the song just for me. It was as if the rest of the room had faded away and only the two of us and the strains of the piano existed. I felt my face flush up as she sang out the last words, ‘If you feel romantic laddy, let me warn you right from the start that my heart belongs to daddy, and my daddy belongs to my heart!’ The bar erupted with applause when she was finished and for the rest of the night, my pals called me ‘Daddy.’ ‘Hey Daddy,’ said Jack. ‘Are we still on for racquetball on Wednesday?’ ‘Say, Daddy,’ called out Johnny. ‘Buy you a beer?’ ‘Oh, Daddy,’ called out Robby’s wife..
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